Wednesday, December 03, 2003
alright, i got a new blog. why? because im kind of a jackass. im not sure if im going to be updating this one anymore. the new one is desolation.modblog.com .
the most beautiful things are also the most unexpected. i guess that makes them beautiful. cant hurt.
i had my chorus concert tonight. i was not looking forward to it, to say the least. so, i got a friend of mine who just got his wisdom teeth out to sell me some perkistat. so, i was almost falling asleep all night, even during the concert. after the excitement and stress of the concert, i sat in my car and felt the drug work. i decided that i could drive like this, but i should probably get some coffee. so i go to breakplace and buy a cup of joe, and get back in my car. i start driving and all of the sudden everything makes sense. everything is just... beautiful. this is the first time that i looked at the back of an suv with an "united we stand" sticker and thought: that is beautiful. everything just clicked. the neon signs reflecting in the window, the yellowed street lamps created shadows in my car as i crawled past. sitting there, listening to godspeed you! black emperor, drinking my coffee, and feeling the drug pump through my veins, i could not imagine anything that i would rather be doing. complete euphoria. im still there... although its not the same in my room with the glow of the moniter on my face. also i am a little stressed, because i bought two pills from my friend, and one of them is missing. it must have fallen out of my pocket somewhere, but im not too worried about it. i mean, its a perscription drug, so its not really illegal.
point is, though, that i am euphoric. not a sunny everybody-is-happy euphoria, but sort of a realist euphoria. i know that the world is fucked, i just dont care. euphoria.
i know this isnt an interesting post, but i am in such a bizarre mood.
im not going to cry. so fuck you.

i dont mean to be overly dramatic, but, i mean, this is a fucking blog. i think im allowed.

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